how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
