someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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