Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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