Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
