omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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