i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
