i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
