check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
