Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
