There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
