I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
