I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
