I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
