Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
