I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
