***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
