grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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