If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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