Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
