My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one might say we're banned from that church
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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