...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i dont even know how to be here
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
