Nicole vs. Life
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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