Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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