I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
