We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
