Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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