My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
