i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
