Apparently you make a good broom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
