He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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