Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
