my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
