How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
