A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
