I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
