I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
