I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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