idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
