Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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