I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
