Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
