you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
