Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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