I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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