it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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