why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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