Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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