im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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