R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
