No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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