I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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