my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
