He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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