I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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